Being a child who spends A LOT of time in the car, LK has created her own car game. It’s called the food game.
LK is the owner, chef and server at a restaurant, unless there’s a complaint. In that case, S.A.M. becomes the owner, chef or server. When D. is in the car he plays the health inspector and will shut LK’s restaurant down for health code violations, which is always good for some noisy drama.
The restaurant does not have menus, requiring the patron (me) to order off the cuff.
It’s much harder than it sounds. Here’s the short version:
LK: Let’s play the food game.
Me, thinking: I’m listening to NPR!
Me, turning down NPR: Sure.
LK: What do you want?
Me: What are you serving?
LK: No menu here. What do you want?
Me: A hamburger?
LK: We’re out of those.
Me: Pizza?
LK: We’re out of those too.
Me: Ham sandwich? Cheese? Tacos? Chicken nuggets? Cocktails? Nachos? Mushrooms? Liver?
LK: Nope.
Me: WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
LK: Ummm… ice cream.
Me: If you don’t serve hamburgers I’m going down the street to the other restaurant. They have better service.
LK: We have hamburgers. Do you want pickles?
Me: The management is horrible here.
LK, pointing to the car seat next to her: That’s S.A.M. Talk to him.
S.A.M., slapping LK’s finger away: Grrrrr. Ugh. Grrrrrrrr. ROARA!
And then it all starts over, but I’m the restaurant. I serve gum and turn up the radio.
26 responses so far ↓
1 coral // Sep 3, 2010 at 8:55 pm
i want to know where l.k. learned to blame the management from ?
2 tom | tall clover farm // Sep 4, 2010 at 7:22 am
Renae, Renae, Renae…I’m tearing up. It’s been much too long since your last post. I know, kids expect meals and husbands attention, but think of the rest of us, deprived of your wit and wisdom for, well, I won’t even repeat the number of months.
I can’t wait for the conversation when LK and Sam learn about franchises; then you’ll have even more options for make believe dining and more scenarios of surly service.
Welcome back.
3 Nana // Sep 5, 2010 at 8:07 am
Wish I could play!!! I’m cracking up and mightily impressed with my bright adorable grandchildren and their witty parents. Poor D, all he got on car trips was “I’m a little bug and I’m hiding—” Love you guys!
4 Christina // Sep 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Tom, how do we gang up on her and get her back to this on a faithful basis?
Renae … woman! Your fans miss you. sigh
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